Today, like most days of late, I was having breakfast with goblin, who was happily munching on strawberries and telling me her opinions on cake (which were all some variation of "cake yum yum!" and left no wiggle room for doubt). While scrolling Google news headlines on my phone in hopes of finding something that would get my attention (as I had yet to consume my caffeine for the day and needed some kind of easy dopamine boost), I saw this headline and stopped: First-of-its-kind Youth Mental Health Corps trains young people to help their peers (source: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/youth-mental-health-corps-rcna155574).
After reading through most of the article (until goblin gave up on her strawberries to go play with the broom and dustpan, which activated my "mom mode"), it got me thinking about my upbringing and how I would have LOVED to be apart of a community initiative like this.
As a teen, I was dealing with a lot of unrecognized mental health problems coupled with a crucial lack of support from home and school, which led to me stumbling and fumbling my way ass-backwards into adulthood, where I am still struggling to catch up on basic things (like managing a budget) to this day.
Most days, I feel a sense of general dread and lurking shame. The routine barrage of thoughts come barreling down the more I wake up: What did I forget to do that will inevitably come back to haunt me today? Why can't I ever seem to just get the dishes done the night before so I don't have to deal with it today? Please let my keys still be in the bowl by the door.
With the benefit of time, experience, and training, I know now that a lot of my problems are due to ADHD (and possibly autism, as I am coming to learn in my ongoing therapy), and I have learned a lot about how to cope with my dysfunctions. I am still, however, so very vulnerable to self-doubt and recurring patterns of negative self-talk. It is a real effort to fight back against the ghosts that haunt me, and honestly, I would be much farther along in my field and my career if I had had the opportunity to tackle my problems head-on while they were happening.
That being said, I don't want to be bitter. I think I followed the mental health path because even as a youth, I understood that there was something fundamentally wrong in my life or with me that needed addressing while simultaneously encountering peers who were going through the same thing. I have a "fuck you, I'll do it," attitude built into my very DNA. When I see a problem that I perceive no one or very few people are doing something about (even if my perception is not accurate, to be fair), I take that on as my own personal challenge. A close friend of mine call's it my "Aries fire" (not gonna lie - that makes me sound like a boss).
So, while I can't go back and change the past to improve myself, I am motivated to do what I can in the now to unlearn/relearn and then take that knowledge to share with others. That's why I do what I do. I've spent the last decade learning and training in the mental health field (during a pandemic to boot!). From my perspective, there is a HUGE need for mental health support at every level. I am glad to see that there are other people out there, like Nancy Santiago and AmeriCorps who have reflected on the past and asked "how can we do better for kids today?"
Don't get bitter, get better - I heard that saying somewhere and it's stuck with me. Below, I have shared additional links to the Youth Mental Health Corps website and their program booklet for anyone that wants to learn more.
Happy trails!
~Erica
Youth Mental Health Corps website: https://www.youthmentalhealthcorps.org/
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